2015 One of My Worst Year's Ever

2015 will go down in my history as one of my worst years ever.  We experienced the winter from "hell", I slipped on ice and lost two tendons in my left shoulder, lost my job in April and ended up placing my Mom in a nursing home, something I will never be able to get rid of the guilt ever, despite the fact that there were stronger pros than cons for the decision (and it wasn't entirely my decision). I ended up putting her back in when she started to go into periods of pure hatred for me. I ended up giving up her apartment not knowing at the time that the rages were able to be controlled so I am feeling guilty that I placed her sooner than she needed to be.

I've given her the choice of my trying to find another apartment, another aide (oh yes, I would have to replace her aide as the woman who was looking after her took on another job) or have her move in with me which would have been a hardship for her because the only time she'd be able to get out is when she went to the doctor as it would cost me $300 to get her up and down the stairs to my apartment.

I did not know exactly how much I loved her until I moved her up near me; yet I never expected that "her" place would end up becoming a cage for me.  For the last 2 years I was paying approximately $12000 a year to keep up my co-op apartment expenses and only able to spend between 5 to 15 hours a week there since my mom could no longer live on her own and I had to be with her because she could experience syncope and could pass out at any time from standing or over-exertion.

To help alleviate some of the feeling of guilt, I spend a lot of time with her; between 4 to 6 hours a day. Winter will be more difficult as I won't be able to get there when the weather is bad as I do not drive in snow and ice . . . but we will get through it.

The thing now is that she (1) now has immediate medical attention, no longer having to call 911 and wait; (2) she is eating what she should have been eating and not the junk she chose to eat all the time, (3) she no longer sleeps the entire day - she is awake and participating in some of the activities as well as talking with other people, (4) we're no longer paying double/triple rent and utilities and (5) I can live in my own place again. We are spending more quality time together, we can go outside when the weather is nice and I can still take her places, probably easier because we have a special para-transit pass. Yes, there are advantages and I will have to keep reminding myself of them.

In the meantime, I've had to look for a job because that was the only way I could stay on unemployment, but that will be coming to an end in about 3 weeks.  I will continue to look occasionally but I won't have to worry about not finding any job worth applying to or not find something because they require a Bachelor's degree, they are too far away or are full-time only.

Only 2 more months to go 2015 and hopefully I will have gotten through the worst of it and will be back starting my climb up the hill.

$15/Hr Wage for Fast Food Workers

If you've been paying any attention at all to the news in the past year, you undoubtedly have heard about the fight fast food workers are putting up for a $15 an hour minimum wage.


While I truly understand how difficult it is to live on the current minimum wage, especially in major cities, raising the minimum wage even over a period of 3 to 5 years for only 1 specific job classification will do far more harm than good; especially to those individuals who have spent tens of thousands of dollars in college tuition only to be offered positions at $12 or $13 an hour.  How fair is it to these people?


Somewhere one has to understand that we all can't be "Chiefs", there must also be "Indians" and not every job created was meant to be a "career".  One's first job typically isn't as Vice President of a major corporation.


My first job was a clerk in a small printing office.  My starting wage was $1.125/hr.  My education consisted of graduating from high school with a secretarial background.  I didn't walk a picket line.  I didn't cry foul.  I didn't think I should make more money than the office manager for basic typing skills. It took me almost 25 years to work my way up to $15/hr.


I worked in the printing industry for a number of years, moved to an engineering field office for a number of years after losing my husband to a heart attack; went to school at night and graduated community college with an Applied Science degree in Marketing. From there I worked my way up to an Executive Administrative Assistant III at $60K a year.


I did so because I knew that a clerk position was a starting job and not a career position. 


You'll say but yes, bread and milk as only .17 and .20 at the time and a gallon of gas .37; but everything was relative, especially when you're earning only $45 a week.


For those who feel that flipping burgers at McDonald's should be a lifetime career, they lack the motivation to want to do better so why should they be rewarded with an hourly salary that exceeds that of someone who has taken the time to go to school and has a huge college debt to pay off.

Where to Start

I decided to try to put on a calendar activities that I want to accomplish. I remembered that Google had a calendar so I pulled it up this morning and proceeded to put entries into each of the daily slots.


When finished I opened it up and realized that despite the full days I discovered there were things I still needed to include such as tv programs I enjoyed watching and reading and puzzles. I also have to fit in time for caring for my mother . . . oh well, the best made plans of mice and men.


I suppose what I need to do is take the list of everything I enjoy and plan out 1 week at a time . . . that is probably a more realistic way to do it. So a little bit later today, I will start planning out my first week.


In the meantime, I have Hallmark Movies and Mystery channel on as they are running a marathon series of Signed, Sealed and Delivered, a program I became interested in from Day 1. There is also another program on tonight on the other Hallmark Channel "When Calls the Heart".


Well until tonight, I shall temporarily turn off my computer and enjoy the rest of today.

Where Do I Go From Here?

Prior to my "forced retirement" I had taken time to prepare lists of things I could do to earn money in retirement as well as things I enjoyed doing.  While these lists were put together prior to my having to spend 90% of my "free time" looking after my mother, I can't go gun-ho forward with all my plans.

In thinking about it, I haven't really been utilizing the time I spend with my mother efficiently. Hey, it's only been a month and a half . . . some things do take a little time to get used to.

Here are a few of the things I have rethought in the process.

First, as I mentioned in a previous post, I am looking for another job, more a formality to collect unemployment benefits so that is taking up at least 3 of my precious 20 hours of time I have to myself when I am able to go to "my home".  Between my laptop and my mother's computer there are 2 at her apartment on which I could spend the time required for the job hunt, hence freeing up the 3 hours when I'm at home.

Second, after having it hit me that some of my savings could quite possibly go to a nursing facility down the road, I have finally flip-flopped for the last time deciding that I'm definitely going to do some apartment renovation. True I spend a very limited time there at the moment, but that won't be forever.

After talking to a new neighbor I decided that I need some electrical work done in my apartment in year 3 or 4 of my retirement, such as having all or some of the outlets grounded, need a bathroom outlet "re-wired" as it appears dead, replace a ceiling light/fan and upgrade the fuse box to a circuit breaker.  However, my co-op sent around a notice indicating that if you have a fuse box it must be converted to circuit breakers prior to March 2016. So I am now in the process of obtaining quotes from a few electricians for the work.

I am also planning on re-doing my bathroom . . . it is currently retro 1960.

Third, for the last 2 years I've only been able to spend an average of about 1/2 hour a day at my place, hence it looks more like a cyclone-hit storage unit.  I need to take time getting rid of some stuff and reorganizing what I have. I'd like to eventually be able to get rid of the storage unit I pay an additional $23 a month for.

Fourth, I need to re-do my lists and then create a schedule to incorporate the things I need to do with the things I want to do in order to use my time effectively and productively.

Strange, the realizations we can come to when we think about it.

One Month Later

Well, it's now a month since I was let go from my job as Administrator 3 for a major engineering firm.


I had expected to miss not going to work, but I suspect that the fact that I've been so busy between running my mother to her doctors and me to my P/T sessions that I didn't miss it at all. I'm sure that I will soon as my physical therapy sessions are now complete.


We've also had pretty nice weather that I've been able to enjoy so work?  What is that?


I am looking for another job at present but because of my age doubt seriously that anyone will hire a 68 year old especially for a top level position. They know that at this age, that I won't want to work much longer so they don't want to put time and money into me only to lose me in a year or less.


I will continue to try to find something, but only time will tell what will happen.  In the meantime, I'm still waiting for my unemployment to kick in.  I expect that I haven't yet received anything as I received 3 weeks severance and 3 days of vacation pay. I hope it begins soon as I don't like not having the income not coming in.

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

Well, this year has already turned into a "humdinger" what with one of the most brutal winters in a long time, my falling and injuring my left rotator cuff almost requiring surgery, my mom having balance and blood pressure issues and with my getting notice that my company is eliminating my position in two weeks.

I was already planning to retire towards the end of this year middle of next . . . oh well; the best laid plans of mice and men.

I guess it goes to show you that no matter how well you're liked where you work, when they want to cut back or use the money elsewhere there is no loyalty.

The truth is that they're letting me go isn't really a bad thing considering all the other things going on in my life right now. True, it's a bit earlier than I expected and I have to juggle some balls to stay afloat, but that's not too hard and I've already taken care of most of it.

The only problem now is that since I was given notice, I don't want to BE at work any more.  Sigh!  9-1/4 days and counting.

Where in the world is Spring?

It's been a long, cold and snowy winter for about 2/3rds of the country this year and many of us are disgusted and depressed.


I hate winter, always have and the last two winters here in the Northeast/Middle Atlantic have been bears.


I've always been afraid of driving in snow and for the last 50 years have struggled to find ways of getting back and forth to work when Mother Nature was behaving at her worst. I'm tired now and have to admit to myself that not only do I not want to do this any more but that I can't do this any more.


I was doing OK this year until a few weeks ago when I slipped on the ice while cleaning off my car and injured an already bad arm. It's been difficult trying to get to work and care for my 94-year old mother with basically one arm, also not 100%. I now have a medical issue to deal with and I'm not happy about it.


But what a surprise it was to go to the Weather Channel website and see that starting on Saturday we can look forward to 8 days of sunny weather in the mid-40's. I can only hope that the storm we're having today (March 5th) is the absolute LAST of this long miserable season.