tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85326116532237432712024-03-12T21:59:32.212-07:00Life's Little ChallengesFacing life's everyday challenges from budgeting, frugal living, parenting, retirement and more.Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-79356997292238901782016-03-11T02:01:00.002-08:002016-03-11T02:01:35.610-08:00Things Starting to Return to a Point of NormalcyWell, after two solid months of concentrating on getting myself organized and my apartment back in shape, I have gotten to the point where at least 3 of the 4 rooms are at a minimum of being at least presentable.<br />
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The one room that remains is my bedroom, but I can for the time being keep the door closed should I suddenly find myself with company. There are also a number of large pieces (manual treadmill, hydraulic rowing machine, 2-3 computers, one record player, one old non-working tv) that I also need to have taken away, but these will have to wait until the traditional tube TV I use in my living room no longer works.<br />
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I also managed to get most of the paper I wanted to shred, shredded and out in the garbage and have set up my paperless record system. And I've also taken a number of small, non-working items over to our bulk "garbage storage" area. <br />
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I can now start cleaning out one closet at a time, one shelf at a time.<br />
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What I want to do is to create a schedule whereby I can include all those items that I need to get done as well as all the fun things I like to do. I will be working on this through the next couple of months because I want to include so many things to my list. The one thing I wonder about since I retired is how I had managed to do all that I did while holding down a full-time job.<br />
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Well I'm going to close for now so I can start working on the things I need to accomplish today. Have a great day all.Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-8620293306213205622016-02-25T20:21:00.000-08:002016-03-09T03:06:03.836-08:00Blog ChangeI've had my blog for a couple of years now and have focused on issues that many of us find ourselves in. Now that I'm retired, I now have some additional time to turn it into the blog I originally intended it to be.<br />
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I originally thought that I would just go about and make the changes to "Life's Little Challenges", however, I decided to keep this one as is and instead create a new blog: The Road to Frugality. <br />
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I've lived frugally most of my life and am very proud of it. Being frugal doesn't mean being cheap which you will learn when you start making the journey. Many of you will wonder what I gave up<br />
. . . not much (outside of marriage and children; unfortunately not meant to be for me). <br />
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During my journey I was careful with my income, yet I had my fair share of new cars, extensive travel and more as well as having built a decent retirement nest egg. I've also helped many people financially and continue to do so the best way I can. I've always wanted the opportunity to share what I've learned so coming soon is the new blog. I'm also developing a couple of my own product lines so please stay tuned.<br />
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Happy day all!Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-4573574790048228362016-02-23T06:13:00.000-08:002016-02-23T06:13:46.015-08:00The Internet/A Love Hate RelationshipIn 1997 I discovered the internet. I loved searching the websites: online museums, holidays sites, etc. I learned how to create a web page and loved it. And I learned to love internet shopping.<br />
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My dislike, however, is the number of sites that preach that "yes, you too can become a successful blogger" and give you just enough information to get you to buy THEIR packages. While they do provide information you can typically use, they glamourize website creation and blogging as a way to make money. They even go out of their way to publish what their monthly income was. Who wouldn't fall prey to a comment like <em>"my blog produced $9000 this month". </em>They may also casually tell you that it took them years to build but the headline was so "eye-catching" that the general reader did not pick up on it took years to build. They also don't tell you ALL that you need to be successful . . . for that information you have to pay and in some cases, the cost is significant. And it's usually those who cannot afford to spend the money who get suckered into doing just that.<br />
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What they don't tell you is that there are approximately 180 million blogs in existence. What they don't tell you is that only a few actually end up producing the amount of income they boast. What they don't tell you is that you make your money through hit conversion, the number of hits per page that actually turn into sales. They don't tell you how to build traffic, they don't tell you to be careful of copyright infringement, they don't tell you how to price your products or how often to create one. They also don't teach you how to build a mailing list. They don't discuss search engine optimization (there are over 1 billion websites on the internet), they don't discuss the methods and the time it takes to build up traffic to your page<u> if you're lucky</u>. They don't tell you the differences in what needs to be done for a blog as a hobby, to develop a supplemental income or turn it into an actual living. <br />
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What they don't tell you is that only 14% of bloggers actually earn an income from them. What they don't tell you is that the average income is $24,086 annually, $33,577 for a corporate blogger and that half of all bloggers earn only about $1,000 annually.<br />
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There is much, much more than just creating a page and publishing it to the internet.<br />
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Time after time, their readers so desperately in need of additional income fall prey to their sales pitch, only to find out that the only one that benefited is the blogger who won them over.<br />
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So to those of you who come across these sites and think that you too are going to develop a $100-$200K income from blogging, realize that this happens only to a rare few. If you feel that you have the time and the money to spend on attempting to get a livable blogging income, please give it a shot, but don't forget that not everyone who tries it will come out a winner.Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-55585917613917323672016-02-16T05:33:00.002-08:002016-02-16T05:33:51.552-08:00The Financially Strapped Don't Get a BreakThe majority of families that are financially strapped will always be financially strapped and through no fault of their own, but rather because society will not let them heal and rebuild. Why, because most institutions, including our government believe it is because they are ALL trying to live like the Joneses which couldn't be further from the truth. Many find themselves in this position because American companies have abandoned the American worker for countries like China and Mexico or due to catastrophic illness. And the sad part is that many of us know at least one or more of these families and have tried to help them, but can only do so much.<br />
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I know one of these families, intimately, because this family is related to me (ages 67 and 77). For a good part of his life, her husband even worked 7 days a week for pennies. They don't own a house or drive a Lexus, they don't buy and wear designer clothes and most of their grocery shopping (they haven't gone out in many years) is done at the dollar store. They've never travelled and their leisure time is sitting by the water or playing Yatzee. The only reason they have cable tv is because the basic plan is included in their rent. Yes, they do have a cell phone, but they use one of the least expensive plans there is. They have been trying for 15 to 20 years to cut back on expenses and attempt lowering their living costs. No matter what they do it just doesn't quite make it. <br />
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They can't get government help because they are only slightly over the so-called poverty level computed as "gross income" as set by the Federal Government and based on todays costs truly is a joke. The so called poverty level after taxes doesn't even allow for the payment of rent in this country, much less anything else.<br />
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They recently tried moving to a more affordable apartment and were denied because there was a car eviction situation which had been taken care of immediately for them by me 2 years ago and payments have been made in a timely manner since then. The apartment complex didn't even want to listen to what had happened and said once you're denied, it's over. This family never missed a rent payment and even paid ahead of time, but this didn't matter either. She also had a co-signer who would have guaranteed that the rent would be paid - - me - - but they wouldn't accept that either and I have a superior credit rating. <br />
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The fact that she had lost her job through no fault of her own when her entire company shut down didn't matter . . . the car company refused to work with them which is why she fell behind. And because they had a poor credit rating the interest rate on the car loan because she had to go through a pool is 29%; completely outrageous compared to the 3% I'm paying. It's hard to get a job when you have no way to get to work. And don't believe that age discrimination doesn't exist even in Florida. It does, especially in Florida. No wonder people like them fall behind . . . they have about as much chance as a snowball in hell.<br />
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There was also a false eviction claim on the part of a former landlord for which they had a letter from the courts saying the case was dismissed due to false accusations on the part of the landlord. This family NEEDED this lower rent apartment because her husband (age 77 who had been working 30 hours a week to make the ends meet) had been recently diagnosed with congestive heart failure (prescription co-pays have jumped up to $150 a month) and can't right now if he will ever be able to again, as well as the fact that her daughter got married and moved out. She had been looking for almost 2 years for a job to no avail and had finally found one part-time, but this isn't enough to cover their living expenses now that her husband is unable to work which are meager at best. I, in fact, have taken over her car payments for her and send her a Save A Lot grocery card once in a while (the best I can do because I lost my job last April and was forced into retirement myself).<br />
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And the laws in Florida give NO relief to seniors for legitimately breaking a lease for financial reasons or assisting them with rent due to catastrophic reasons so these people are trapped or end up homeless. This is positively tragic in this great country.<br />
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I'm not saying that these people didn't make poor choices at times when it came to money . . . we all do or have, including myself. But unless society gives them the chance to fix themselves, they will continue to remain tragic victims.<br />
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Please, I ask that you forward the link to this page to everyone you know. Let's see if we collectively can start changing things for families like this.Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-84393250195209661422015-12-31T19:47:00.003-08:002015-12-31T19:47:55.399-08:00Good Bye 2015 . . . and Good RiddensI have never been a big fan of celebrating new years. I've always looked at it as a "couples" thing. If you weren't part of a couple, it was just another lonely night. I can count on one hand the number of times I have actually done anything for new year's eve or stayed up past midnight and they were a new year's eve party with my late husband's family back in 1969 and spending time at a resort in the Poconos back in the mid-80s.<br />
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This year, however, I am celebrating the end of 2015 because it was the worst year for my family that I know of. We had the second of the worst winters in the past two years; I slipped on ice and lost two tendons in my left shoulder; I was let go from my job yet again; the third time in approximately 10 years and I had the most difficult choice of placing my mother in a nursing home. It has also seen my sister's husband diagnosed with congestive heart failure.<br />
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Yes, 2015 was truly the pits.<br />
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Hello 2016. All I can say is that after 2015, the only way my family can go is up from there, so here's to you and yours . . . wishing all of you the very, very best for 2016.Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-7230551010280515052015-11-11T04:59:00.001-08:002015-11-11T04:59:47.311-08:00Six Months Into My Forced RetirementI have to admit that just like everyone else, I had never expected that my life would turn out the way it did, especially as it relates to what my retirement was going to be like. I never thought that I would lose my job and I never expected that during the first couple of months that I would have to place my mother in a nursing home and visit her on a daily basis to help her get through the day.<br />
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Family circumstances led to my having to work until at least 66, my full retirement age, but then the prospect of a higher monthly check and looking after my mother, my plan was to continue working full time until age 70 and then ease my way into retirement by working part-time at half my salary for two additional years. I had also learned this year that I was entitled to my husband's Survivor Benefits and despite the fact that I had lost about 2-1/2 years in benefits, I was still entitled to another year and a half and that was going to be "gravy" on top of my salary or so I thought. But life had other plans in store for me<br />
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On that fateful day in March, my boss called me into the conference room and told me that he had to let me go because my position was being eliminated. I can't say that I was happy about it, but being 68 I wasn't in the same financial position when I lost my job two times previously. I also didn't know that the months following my being let go that I would have my mother in the hospital three times and then placed in a nursing home as well as experience a financial loss approximating $80,000.<br />
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I decided that I needed a change today so I will soon be making a lunch for my mother and then heading out to Walmart for a distraction. <br />
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What I still need to do is put together some kind of plan to better utilize my time. Yes, I do have to work on decluttering my home and I have 3 e-books in various stages of progress. I also have my websites to work on and my digital graphics and painting in addition to TV, movies, and puzzles. I will attempt to start re-planning my life both financially and time-wise in the next several weeks and hopefully by Jan 1, I will find more solitude to being where I am at this point in time.Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-20937138707566079132015-11-04T04:36:00.000-08:002015-11-04T04:36:04.733-08:00My Apartment is Looking Like I Belong on "Hoarders"This year, not only did I lose my job, but I found myself having to pull back into my apartment all the things I had previously stored in an outside storage company as they were putting in an elevator in the building right where they had the lockers. I also found myself having to take in half of the stuff from my mom's apartment in the last two weeks after placing her in a nursing home.<br />
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I have to admit that I've never been noted for my clutter-free home, but the above objects have made it almost impossible to live in and feel good about myself.<br />
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FreeCycle hasn't been much help. I tried to give most of it a new home, but those who responded were just out and out fussy so I had to pay to have it hauled away, including a 32" RCA traditional tube tv that was in excellent working condition. Shame on you people. If I had needed it myself I would have kept it as I never buy something new to replace something that is still working.<br />
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Anyway, I came across this article on Houzz and thought it might help some of you who are in a similar position as myself. I've already started cleaning my place out but thought this might provide a little bit more of an initiative or motivation to keep going.<br />
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<a href="http://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/55288696/list/5-ways-to-jump-start-a-whole-house-decluttering-effort">5 Ways to Jump-Start a Whole-House Decluttering Effort</a></div>
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Have a great week.</div>
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Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-15102735957585511872015-10-29T05:02:00.003-07:002015-10-29T05:02:40.058-07:002015 One of My Worst Year's Ever2015 will go down in my history as one of my worst years ever. We experienced the winter from "hell", I slipped on ice and lost two tendons in my left shoulder, lost my job in April and ended up placing my Mom in a nursing home, something I will never be able to get rid of the guilt ever, despite the fact that there were stronger pros than cons for the decision (and it wasn't entirely my decision). I ended up putting her back in when she started to go into periods of pure hatred for me. I ended up giving up her apartment not knowing at the time that the rages were able to be controlled so I am feeling guilty that I placed her sooner than she needed to be.<br />
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I've given her the choice of my trying to find another apartment, another aide (oh yes, I would have to replace her aide as the woman who was looking after her took on another job) or have her move in with me which would have been a hardship for her because the only time she'd be able to get out is when she went to the doctor as it would cost me $300 to get her up and down the stairs to my apartment.<br />
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I did not know exactly how much I loved her until I moved her up near me; yet I never expected that "her" place would end up becoming a cage for me. For the last 2 years I was paying approximately $12000 a year to keep up my co-op apartment expenses and only able to spend between 5 to 15 hours a week there since my mom could no longer live on her own and I had to be with her because she could experience syncope and could pass out at any time from standing or over-exertion.<br />
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To help alleviate some of the feeling of guilt, I spend a lot of time with her; between 4 to 6 hours a day. Winter will be more difficult as I won't be able to get there when the weather is bad as I do not drive in snow and ice . . . but we will get through it.<br />
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The thing now is that she (1) now has immediate medical attention, no longer having to call 911 and wait; (2) she is eating what she should have been eating and not the junk she chose to eat all the time, (3) she no longer sleeps the entire day - she is awake and participating in some of the activities as well as talking with other people, (4) we're no longer paying double/triple rent and utilities and (5) I can live in my own place again. We are spending more quality time together, we can go outside when the weather is nice and I can still take her places, probably easier because we have a special para-transit pass. Yes, there are advantages and I will have to keep reminding myself of them.<br />
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In the meantime, I've had to look for a job because that was the only way I could stay on unemployment, but that will be coming to an end in about 3 weeks. I will continue to look occasionally but I won't have to worry about not finding any job worth applying to or not find something because they require a Bachelor's degree, they are too far away or are full-time only.<br />
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Only 2 more months to go 2015 and hopefully I will have gotten through the worst of it and will be back starting my climb up the hill.Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-68423352312704272372015-08-17T15:25:00.001-07:002015-08-17T15:26:24.008-07:00$15/Hr Wage for Fast Food WorkersIf you've been paying any attention at all to the news in the past year, you undoubtedly have heard about the fight fast food workers are putting up for a $15 an hour minimum wage.<br />
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While I truly understand how difficult it is to live on the current minimum wage, especially in major cities, raising the minimum wage even over a period of 3 to 5 years for only 1 specific job classification will do far more harm than good; especially to those individuals who have spent tens of thousands of dollars in college tuition only to be offered positions at $12 or $13 an hour. How fair is it to these people?<br />
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Somewhere one has to understand that we all can't be "Chiefs", there must also be "Indians" and not every job created was meant to be a "career". One's first job typically isn't as Vice President of a major corporation.<br />
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My first job was a clerk in a small printing office. My starting wage was $1.125/hr. My education consisted of graduating from high school with a secretarial background. I didn't walk a picket line. I didn't cry foul. I didn't think I should make more money than the office manager for basic typing skills. It took me almost 25 years to work my way up to $15/hr.<br />
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I worked in the printing industry for a number of years, moved to an engineering field office for a number of years after losing my husband to a heart attack; went to school at night and graduated community college with an Applied Science degree in Marketing. From there I worked my way up to an Executive Administrative Assistant III at $60K a year.<br />
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I did so because I knew that a clerk position was a starting job and not a career position. <br />
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You'll say but yes, bread and milk as only .17 and .20 at the time and a gallon of gas .37; but everything was relative, especially when you're earning only $45 a week.<br />
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For those who feel that flipping burgers at McDonald's should be a lifetime career, they lack the motivation to want to do better so why should they be rewarded with an hourly salary that exceeds that of someone who has taken the time to go to school and has a huge college debt to pay off.<br />
<br />Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-21248217939812190602015-06-06T06:35:00.000-07:002015-06-06T06:36:24.090-07:00Where to StartI decided to try to put on a calendar activities that I want to accomplish. I remembered that Google had a calendar so I pulled it up this morning and proceeded to put entries into each of the daily slots.<br />
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When finished I opened it up and realized that despite the full days I discovered there were things I still needed to include such as tv programs I enjoyed watching and reading and puzzles. I also have to fit in time for caring for my mother . . . oh well, the best made plans of mice and men.<br />
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I suppose what I need to do is take the list of everything I enjoy and plan out 1 week at a time . . . that is probably a more realistic way to do it. So a little bit later today, I will start planning out my first week.<br />
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In the meantime, I have Hallmark Movies and Mystery channel on as they are running a marathon series of Signed, Sealed and Delivered, a program I became interested in from Day 1. There is also another program on tonight on the other Hallmark Channel "When Calls the Heart".<br />
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Well until tonight, I shall temporarily turn off my computer and enjoy the rest of today.<br />
<br />Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-57096938917248792752015-06-03T05:44:00.000-07:002015-06-03T05:44:39.946-07:00Where Do I Go From Here?Prior to my "forced retirement" I had taken time to prepare lists of things I could do to earn money in retirement as well as things I enjoyed doing. While these lists were put together prior to my having to spend 90% of my "free time" looking after my mother, I can't go gun-ho forward with all my plans.<br />
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In thinking about it, I haven't really been utilizing the time I spend with my mother efficiently. Hey, it's only been a month and a half . . . some things do take a little time to get used to.<br />
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Here are a few of the things I have rethought in the process.<br />
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First, as I mentioned in a previous post, I am looking for another job, more a formality to collect unemployment benefits so that is taking up at least 3 of my precious 20 hours of time I have to myself when I am able to go to "my home". Between my laptop and my mother's computer there are 2 at her apartment on which I could spend the time required for the job hunt, hence freeing up the 3 hours when I'm at home.<br />
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Second, after having it hit me that some of my savings could quite possibly go to a nursing facility down the road, I have finally flip-flopped for the last time deciding that I'm definitely going to do some apartment renovation. True I spend a very limited time there at the moment, but that won't be forever.<br />
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After talking to a new neighbor I decided that I need some electrical work done in my apartment in year 3 or 4 of my retirement, such as having all or some of the outlets grounded, need a bathroom outlet "re-wired" as it appears dead, replace a ceiling light/fan and upgrade the fuse box to a circuit breaker. However, my co-op sent around a notice indicating that if you have a fuse box it must be converted to circuit breakers prior to March 2016. So I am now in the process of obtaining quotes from a few electricians for the work.<br />
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I am also planning on re-doing my bathroom . . . it is currently retro 1960.<br />
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Third, for the last 2 years I've only been able to spend an average of about 1/2 hour a day at my place, hence it looks more like a cyclone-hit storage unit. I need to take time getting rid of some stuff and reorganizing what I have. I'd like to eventually be able to get rid of the storage unit I pay an additional $23 a month for.<br />
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Fourth, I need to re-do my lists and then create a schedule to incorporate the things I need to do with the things I want to do in order to use my time effectively and productively.<br />
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Strange, the realizations we can come to when we think about it.<br />
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Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-15725040176302511762015-05-19T14:47:00.001-07:002015-05-19T14:48:43.238-07:00One Month LaterWell, it's now a month since I was let go from my job as Administrator 3 for a major engineering firm.<br />
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I had expected to miss not going to work, but I suspect that the fact that I've been so busy between running my mother to her doctors and me to my P/T sessions that I didn't miss it at all. I'm sure that I will soon as my physical therapy sessions are now complete.<br />
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We've also had pretty nice weather that I've been able to enjoy so work? What is that?<br />
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I am looking for another job at present but because of my age doubt seriously that anyone will hire a 68 year old especially for a top level position. They know that at this age, that I won't want to work much longer so they don't want to put time and money into me only to lose me in a year or less.<br />
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I will continue to try to find something, but only time will tell what will happen. In the meantime, I'm still waiting for my unemployment to kick in. I expect that I haven't yet received anything as I received 3 weeks severance and 3 days of vacation pay. I hope it begins soon as I don't like not having the income not coming in.<br />
<br />Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-36322986870033774682015-04-07T10:56:00.001-07:002015-04-07T10:56:20.826-07:00The Best Laid Plans of Mice and MenWell, this year has already turned into a "humdinger" what with one of the most brutal winters in a long time, my falling and injuring my left rotator cuff almost requiring surgery, my mom having balance and blood pressure issues and with my getting notice that my company is eliminating my position in two weeks.<br />
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I was already planning to retire towards the end of this year middle of next . . . oh well; the best laid plans of mice and men.<br />
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I guess it goes to show you that no matter how well you're liked where you work, when they want to cut back or use the money elsewhere there is no loyalty.<br />
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The truth is that they're letting me go isn't really a bad thing considering all the other things going on in my life right now. True, it's a bit earlier than I expected and I have to juggle some balls to stay afloat, but that's not too hard and I've already taken care of most of it.<br />
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The only problem now is that since I was given notice, I don't want to BE at work any more. Sigh! 9-1/4 days and counting.Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-27831682810555867612015-03-05T05:34:00.003-08:002015-03-05T05:35:42.643-08:00Where in the world is Spring?It's been a long, cold and snowy winter for about 2/3rds of the country this year and many of us are disgusted and depressed. <br />
<br /><br />
I hate winter, always have and the last two winters here in the Northeast/Middle Atlantic have been bears.<br />
<br /><br />
I've always been afraid of driving in snow and for the last 50 years have struggled to find ways of getting back and forth to work when Mother Nature was behaving at her worst. I'm tired now and have to admit to myself that not only do I not want to do this any more but that I can't do this any more.<br />
<br /><br />
I was doing OK this year until a few weeks ago when I slipped on the ice while cleaning off my car and injured an already bad arm. It's been difficult trying to get to work and care for my 94-year old mother with basically one arm, also not 100%. I now have a medical issue to deal with and I'm not happy about it.<br />
<br /><br />
But what a surprise it was to go to the Weather Channel website and see that starting on Saturday we can look forward to 8 days of sunny weather in the mid-40's. I can only hope that the storm we're having today (March 5th) is the absolute LAST of this long miserable season.<br />
<br />Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-79138064309103001592015-01-08T08:16:00.000-08:002015-01-08T08:19:10.303-08:00Dealing with a Parent With DementiaIf someone had told me what my life was going to be like 10 years ago, I never would have believed them. You see, my mother is 94 with several health issues, one of which is that she suffers from dementia.<br />
<br />
The easy part, but one that is actually quite aggravating, is continually having to answer the same question 5 or 10 times in a matter of minutes without losing one's patience. The hard part, however, is that when a lapse or a trigger has the parent convinced for the moment that you stole their money which happened to me just this morning, well then that can turn into a living hell.<br />
<br />
It was fortunate that the woman who looks after my mother while I'm at work was able to settle the issue with the bank and called me and that I was able (for the moment) to remind my mother that she had 2 accounts (a checking and a savings account) and that what she was looking at was just the statement for the checking account. Once she realized she had blamed me for doing something I didn't do, then she became embarrassed and as equally as upset as she had when she thought I did her wrong. <br />
<br />
I could NEVER steal from my mother, or anyone for that matter. In fact, for the last 2 years, I've been paying 2/3rds of the cost for the aide as well as an additional $1800 to replace her bottom denture which she wasn't going to replace when she accidently lost her top plate. All in all, I've spent about $10,000 of my own money thus far caring for her these past few years, trying to keep her out of a nursing home so that if there is anything left over, I can give it to my sister who has struggled financially all her life. And this year, with the added care she needs, I'll be spending $7300 of my own money. All money that is supposed to have been for my own years of retirement and future medical care.<br />
<br />
One of my mother's obsessions is that she thinks she has to "hide" her wallet, etc. and every time I have to write a check or get grocery money, it takes an hour or more of searching for her to remember where she put it. In fact, one time she had put her wallet in a garbage pail that was filled with plastic bags that she uses. I told her that if something had happened to her I would never have looked through it, I would have just pitched it in the dumpster. And the funny part is that she's basically housebound so there isn't any reason for her to have to hide it. As such, I now keep her checkbook and savings account book (she lost her original one about 2 years ago) with me. And I've been dealing with the bills as they come in and don't make a big deal of it any more.<br />
<br />
I don't know if any of you have ever read any posts when it comes to food stamps or people on Medicaid going to nursing homes etc., but many times there are "younger" posters who come out and write some pretty nasty things. First of all what they don't know is that assisted living and nursing home care IS expensive. Second, it's usually those with money who know and do protect the money/house so that there parent's bill is paid by Medicaid. Third, not everyone wants the taxpayer to foot the bill for such care, but that money does run out eventually. In my mother's case, in the area where I live and cost of care here, her money would run out in about 16 months. After that, then Medicaid would have to foot the bill. And fourth, there are those of us who have family members who could use the financial help and like me are doing whatever they can to keep the parent out of such facilities for as long as they can hoping that there may be something left over when the parent is gone to give the needy sibling.<br />
<br />
Whatever one wants to believe, you will never truly understand what it's like dealing with a situation like this until you're actually in it or close to someone who is going through it. I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy.Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-24435821551265168232015-01-01T06:13:00.002-08:002015-01-01T06:13:50.333-08:00Happy New Year EveryoneWell, here we are, the first day of a new year, 2015. <br />
<br />
The passing of a year is bittersweet; we're glad that the experiences that caused us problems and stress are over and we're happy that we have the chance to start off with a clean slate and an optimistic, can-do attitude. <br />
<br />
I've not made any resolutions this year, not because I don't meet them which is true, but my focus this year is to try to work on the patience I no longer have so that I can deal with my elderly mother who has dementia. And for those of you who have experienced caring for a person with dementia, you know it is not an easy task and that it only gets worse.<br />
<br />
I'm also at that point in my life where I am starting to plan my retirement. I have decided due to the longevity in my family not to start collecting SS until I turn 70 which is 2 years from now. I still work full time and plan to work the additional 2 years, but this may not be possible due to changes currently underway by my employer. It is likely that no move will take place this year so I think, I will have at least 1 full year of working guaranteed; the second year uncertain. A move in the beginning of 2016 rather than at the end would cause me to have to dip into my 401K/IRA a year sooner and take in significant payouts the first year, but one has to do what they need to do.<br />
<br />
I also have to concentrate on my health issues. While health is between good and fair, I have been diagnosed as being diabetic so knowing the effect being diabetic has on dementia, I must lose the weight I need to lose. Having dealt with both parents and dementia, there is no way I want to find myself in a similar state.<br />
<br />
So, raise your glasses of fresh, clean water . . . Happy New Year everyone!!!!!!!Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-70858128700932265752014-12-17T08:28:00.001-08:002014-12-17T08:28:27.937-08:00Another Year is Ready to Bite the DustI don't know about you, but to me, despite all the hassles I've had, this year has flown by faster than any previously.<br />
<br />
I am fortunate in that I have only till December 19th to work and then I'm off until January 5th. It's the first time in many years that I've been able to take two full successive weeks off for vacation.<br />
<br />
This year I finally made the decision to work 2 more years unless my company decides it will be moving closer to the city which is a 50/50 possibility right now. I do have my Plan B ready to put into place if need be, but the closer to the 2 full years of working that I can get will most definitely be better for me as I won't have to dip into my retirement account as fully as I would if I have to leave before age 70.<br />
<br />
We, my mother and I, aren't planning anything really big for Christmas . . . it is only the 2 of us, but I did put up a tree and lights around the bookshelves in her apartment for us to enjoy this season. She's 94 and I don't know how much longer I will have her around so I want to do everything I can to make sure she has a pleasant holiday.<br />
<br />
There are so many things I want to start doing next year and trying to put together some things in an attempt to create some passive income. I will have to contact my web host as I have been unable to publish to my website since they took off the FP extensions. I will try to make arrangements week of Jan 29 to do that.<br />
<br />
Well to all of you I wish you the best holiday season ever. Have fun!Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-32264794862007282482014-09-19T11:56:00.003-07:002014-09-19T11:56:56.735-07:00Putting People Out of Work - Really SucksWell, I just got some disheartening news yesterday.<br />
<br />
My friend and co-worker received notice that they are putting her on a 60-day "furlough" for lack of work but if the situation remains unchanged by that time, it will become a permanent layoff.<br />
<br />
While I completely understand the need to let people go at times, it's the type of people that get let go.<br />
<br />
A few months ago, they terminated a man with a family consisting of 4 kids and his wife; giving him absolutely no severance. Fortunately for him, however, he found a job in 1 month, which is nothing short of a miracle in today's job market.<br />
<br />
My friend, on the other hand, just got back from maternity leave after giving birth to a beautiful little girl. She is the prime breadwinner in her family with her husband working part-time in a fast food franchise. She will tell you she loves to work and enjoys coming into the office every day and from her positive attitude, she truly does.<br />
<br />
So why I am so angry?<br />
<br />
I'm angry because these are the type of people that are let go, while they keep the slackers, the two 20-something kids who come and go as they please, yet still manage to report adequate project time and overtime. Quite amazing considering they have done none of the work that they charged time to. They're never here.<br />
<br />
Hopefully some day the wheel will turn and they will get hit between the ribs. Right now, though, I'm just saying a prayer for my very special friend, the daughter I never had.Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-49202789097914202802014-07-26T04:24:00.000-07:002014-08-01T12:02:16.759-07:00Life is Tough, Isn't itI'm not writing this out of "sour grapes" because personally I have never been one to try to keep up with the Joneses because I never cared about what they had or didn't have. But there are some things that get to me on occasion.<br />
<br /><br />
When I first discovered Freecycle, I thought what a great way of helping preserve our environment especially in our "disposable" society. As many of you have, I've signed up in my local group and get the typical notices of people offering items as well as asking for them. I'm not really looking for anything but find the posts interesting.<br />
<br /><br />
But they do "bug" me at times also.<br />
<br /><br />
Take for example: <br />
<br /><br />
(1) the single mom (or so she says) who's car just broke down and proceeds to ask for a car. The message was sent through her <em><span style="color: red;"><strong>IPhone</strong></span></em>. Sure, someone is <em>really </em>going to just give her a car...yeah, right. And if you're a single mom, then why on earth do you have an iPhone? Between the phone and the cost of the service, there's a monthly car payment.<br />
<br /><br />
(2) the mother who writes "my hard-working daughter is moving to her own apartment and needs everything." I'm sure this mother has helped where she could but did she also ask other family and friends? And if the daughter is so hard-working, she's never heard of Big Lots or KMart? Things there are NOT that expensive. Dollar Tree also works for me.<br />
<br /><br />
(3) the mother who wrote this morning asking for a Fridge and a stove (she probably lives in Scarsdale, has most expensive cable/internet/phone package and leases a car too), she writes:<br />
"Hello everyone. I guess Lowes went out if (sic) business for a reason . My kitchen fridge stopped cooling just freezer works :-O and my stove only one burner working?? Both within two weeks please help if anyone getting rid of any gas stoves? <span style="color: red;"><strong>Tight budget with my son going into private high school</strong></span> . thank you in advance <br /><br /><span style="color: red;"><strong> Sent from my iPhone</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<span style="color: black;">(4) the person who boasts about decorating her whole home from Craigslist and Freecycle and goes on to say she's looking for a bedroom set with specific wood color and exact measurements . . . sheesh!</span><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;"><em>Hello!</em></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<span style="color: black;">What are these people thinking? If you can't afford something, then maybe the reason is yourself and the choices you have made? And if you don't have the money, then you don't spend it on private schools or iPhones.</span><br />
<br /><br />
Shame on you; I have <em>no</em> sympathy.<br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
<br />Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-26200392992433761212014-07-03T05:58:00.000-07:002014-07-03T05:58:13.108-07:00Retirement Community Sites with No CostsRecently I've been researching retirement communities in North and South Carolina for the sheer possibility that someday I might relocate to be closer to my sister. For most of her life, she and her husband have struggled to live and I figure that she'll someday need a place to live that she can't afford and need to share a place with me.<br />
<br />
You can imagine how frustrating it is, however, to do a search and go to the sites only to find no cost information provided or if they do, it reads "starts at $2750 a month", "No Buy-In Fees", or "Low $200s" to "Low $300s". I'm not exactly sure why they won't put pricing up, but for the few that have, they actually believe that everyone in the U.S. spends $3000-$5,000 or more a month just on housing and utilities. (I happen to live just north of NYC and my monthly expenses are currently $817/mo, quite a big difference).<br />
<br />
The managers/owners of these communities obviously want to get you to call them or visit so that they can give you the "hard sell", but the truth is that when I go to a site like this with no cost, I automatically assume that I can't afford it. I don't have the time to waste to call them only to find out that I was correct in my assumption or to listen to their speil as to why they think they're affordable and such a bargain. The truth is, they laugh all the way to the bank. And then you have those 47% of us who have spent our lives at a starting salary of $2,300 (yes at one time 4 figure salaries were "in") a year and are barely earning between $24,000 - 50,000 now who will need a place to go and there is nothing available that we can afford. And when by the time we reach our 90s, they want to throw us into a nursing home faster than we can say/spell our name.<br />
<br />
For the few communities that do post pricing that is still higher than I'd like to pay but more reasonable, I'm sure there is a waiting list years long. Sure, I could stay where I am or find a place slighly cheaper somewhere, but the retirement or over 55 community offers a social aspect that is not typically found in your traditional apartment complex and that's what I'll be looking for once I leave the workplace. But, I don't think that it justifies an additional $2,183 - $4,183 a month premium.<br />
<br />
I'm also smart enough to know that someday I may find myself in need of assisted living services or not want to cook again, but still, I shouldn't have to pay a several thousand dollar monthly premium for them or worse, even before I need them. I should be able to pay only for those services that I truly need.<br />
<br />
I often wonder how many of you out there feel the same way I do. I'd like to hear from you.<br />
<br />Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-72683470501235202942013-10-22T04:24:00.001-07:002013-10-22T04:25:21.871-07:00Year Just About OverBetty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-28823763021929182282013-09-29T09:38:00.001-07:002013-09-29T09:38:42.299-07:00Our Congress is Hell-Bent on Causing the Stock Market to Dive AgainThe elected officials of Congress should be ashamed of themselves. For the last 5 years since President Obama was elected, they've behaved like 3 year olds . . . my way or the highway.<br />
<br />
These people hold OUR future in their hands yet they have shown time and time again, that they don't care about the people who put them in office, but only in their hatred of the President.<br />
<br />
There was a line in "The Hunt for Red October" that I liked. Captain Ramius stated "a little revolution now and again is not such a bad thing?". Well it's time for another revolution. It's time for us to take back our country from these educated children who are hell-bent on destroying your life and mine.<br />
<br />
We need to tell Congress to GROW UP and do what's right for ALL of us and not just your stubborn stupidity. We look like fools to the rest of the world. A country who is trying to tell everyone else how to solve their problems, yet we can't solve our own.<br />
<br />
Shame on your Congressmen. I'd be embarrassed to take your salary if I were you. Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-42452843082134215882013-08-29T02:37:00.002-07:002013-08-29T02:37:38.576-07:00Retirement Community Sites with No Costs<br />
Recently I've been researching retirement communities in North and South Carolina for the sheer possibility that someday I might relocate to be closer to my sister. For most of her life, she and her husband have struggled to live and I figure that she'll someday need a place to live that she can't afford and need to share a place with me.<br />
<br />
You can imagine how frustrating it is, however, to do a search and go to the sites only to find no cost information provided or if they do, it reads "starts at $2750 a month", "No Buy-In Fees", or "Low $200s" to "Low $300s". I'm not exactly sure why they won't put pricing up or offer a realistic monthly rental, but most actually believe that everyone in the U.S. spends $3000-$5,000 or more a month just on housing and utilities. (I happen to live just north of NYC and my monthly expenses are currently at $817/mo, quite a big difference and they would be at half if I had someone to share them with). <br />
<br />
The managers/owners of these communities obviously want to get you to call them or visit so that they can give you the "hard sell", but the truth is that when I go to a site like this with no cost, I automatically assume that I can't afford it. I don't have the time to waste to call them only to find out that I was correct in my assumption or to listen to their speil as to why <em>THEY</em> think they're affordable and such a bargain. The truth is, they laugh all the way to the bank. And then you have those 47% of us who have spent our lives who started working at an annual salary of $2,300 (yes at one time 4 figure salaries were "in" people) and are barely earning between $24,000 - 50,000 now who will need a place to go and there is nothing available that we can afford. And when by the time we reach our 90s, they want to throw us into a nursing home faster than we can say/spell our name.<br />
<br />
For the few communities that do post pricing that is still somewhat higher than I'd like to pay but more reasonable, I'm sure there is a waiting list years long. Sure, I could stay where I am or find a place slighly cheaper somewhere, but the retirement or over 55 community offers a social aspect that is not typically found in your traditional apartment complex and that's what I'll be looking for once I leave the workplace. But, I don't think that it justifies an additional $2,183 - $4,183 a month premium.<br />
<br />
I'm also smart enough to know that someday I may find myself in need of assisted living services or not want to cook again, but still, I shouldn't have to pay a several thousand dollar monthly premium for them or worse, even before I need them. I should be able to pay only for those services that I truly need.<br />
<br />
I often wonder how many of you out there feel the same way I do. I'd like to hear from you.<br />
<br />
<br />Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-77784955886558160022013-08-12T02:56:00.005-07:002013-08-12T03:05:22.957-07:00Help Needed for Those with Low IncomeLow income housing has a stigma attached to it as does Section 8. This is because traditionally those considered for this type of housing have been the dregs and leeches of our society, those on welfare who choose NOT to work and continue to have baby after baby to gain additional income. Born into welfare many of them remain in welfare having absolutely no ambition to better themselves.<br />
<br />
This type of housing has typically been placed in areas of towns and villages where crime runs rampant - - drugs, stabbings, rapes and murders. My own home town is proof of such housing locations. And even if you did need housing assistance through a Section 8 housing voucher, you find yourself in one of two positions: (1) Section 8 assistance no longer available with waiting lists that have been closed consisting of thousands or (2) those apartment complexes who could help a deserving individual do not want to allow ANY Section 8 people in their apartments for fear they are from the dregs of society.<br />
<br />
Yet many of these people who fall into the category of "low income housing" are people like you or me, seniors like my mother who can't live with me because she's handicapped and yet has only an income of $15K a year with rent of $14K a year because no assistance is available for her. They are widows and widowers who are in their 80s and 90s whose Social Security and pensions are so low that they have no place to go and are struggling daily to remain in a home in a safe area where they're not going to be mugged or killed. They also should be able to live without wondering whether they should pay a bill or use the few dollars they have left remaining for some food.<br />
<br />
My sister recently told me of a story where she was in a convenience store where an old man came in and walked up to the counter with a small jar of instant coffee and a 1/2 pint of milk and didn't have enough money in his pocket to buy it and then put it back and walked out of the store. If she hadn't been the victim of a mass layoff by her company, she would have given him the difference as would I have. This is happening all over our country and my heart is breaking for these individuals . . . individuals who have worked hard all their lives and yet society has let them down.<br />
<br />
While people such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and others have formed charities all the foundation money is going to foreign countries, foreign countries where people hate us. Instead of investing millions on these people, how about helping those in our own country who need some help, people like that old man who couldn't buy himself a cup of coffee or my mother whose income is going to pay her rent. These people don't want to beg and they don't want to be considered low class because they are not. And they don't want to be placed in state-run facilities where they are treated like cattle herded into a "day room", where they are forced to sit all day in wheel chairs, eat their meals until they are taken back to their rooms. They have been contributing members of our society and need our help. They did NOT choose to be dependent or needy.<br />
<br />
I've been doing my share over the last several years and have jeopardized my own retirement future trying to keep my family's heads above water. Now it's time for all of the millionaires in this country to come to the aid of some who are less fortunate. <br />
<br />Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532611653223743271.post-87183651758136560812013-06-16T03:11:00.001-07:002013-06-16T03:11:28.892-07:00Hey, Someday that Could Be MeI was walking towards McDonalds the other night as I was going to pick up something for my mother and myself when a tall, slightly bent-over gray-haired man, I would guess in his early 80s, stepped out in front of me a car-length away. I followed him all the way into McDonalds where we both got in line.<br />
<br />
As we waited, I saw him pull out his wallet, look through it and pull out some money. I don't know what it was but at that moment I had hoped that this man had enough money to buy what he went for and immediately felt like I wanted to give him some money for a burger. When he did get to the counter, while I hadn't heard what he ordered, I saw him dig deep into his pockets for some change. He paid the young woman at the counter, turned around, holding an ice cream and proceeded over to one of the tables and sat down to enjoy the small treat.<br />
<br />
As I started my drive up to my mother's, it hit me . . . <span style="color: red;"><strong>I</strong></span> could be that person someday. I already have the white hair, dyed currently a medium brown, and I'm going on 67 this year. The early 80s is not that far away. I couldn't help but wonder more about that man and what his life had been like when he was younger; what he worked at, how much his social security check was, was he a widower, etc. <br />
<br />
While I will never know the answers to these questions, it did make me stop and think about my life and while for the most part, I am content with it, I do find myself worrying about whether I will have enough money to last me the rest of my life. I'm pretty confident that I will, but I doubt that I will ever take that for granted as despite all the planning there are so many variables, I can only live one day at a time and hope that I will be OK.Betty Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156792919452126836noreply@blogger.com0